Peace Be With You
by Kementari
Summary: Deathfic.. but also musings from a certain character. My first posted fic in a looong time.


Peace Be With You

****************** Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. If I did, neither Dorothy nor Duke Dermail would exist. But they do. So I don't own this. Also, this is a pretty old ficlet that I wrote one night before I had seen EW.. which wouldn't have made a lot of difference anyway. Yes, it is slightly OOC but it's also set 2 years after the war ended so the characters would naturally have grown a bit.   
I was hoping to put the title in Arabic, however I do not have my book with me and it wouldn't have really helped either.   
So enjoy, or sniffle, or think it's awful. But at any rate, please review afterwards. 

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It's been exactly a year now, and I still hate him. Not for what he did, but because I thought he'd gotten over that. I guess I'm a little more sentimental than I used to be, as sickening as it sounds.   
Quatre's slowly getting back to himself, although sometimes when it's really late and I'm visiting I'll see some of the pain come back. He's a lot stronger than any of us gave him credit, but I don't think he'll ever truly become the Quatre we knew back then.   
Duo took it hard as well, but he hid it behind that clown mask of his, like always.   
Trowa Barton took the easy way out of life, and none of us can ever forgive him for it. I should have seen it coming, especially after Catherine's accident. When she was gone he slowly began to slip away again. Quatre was there for him, but he was forced to stay and work at the Winner Foundation until late hours. I visited sometimes, when I wasn't working myself. Even now it doesn't make that much sense why he suddenly had gone on an unneeded mission and hadn't returned.   
I guess I remember that the clearest, watching Trowa leave in the Heavyarms and then going off to bed only to be awakened by Quatre's screaming. It took Duo and I a full hour to calm him down enough to make sense. Through all the tears I guess I didn't need to have him explain the event, I already knew it. Quatre has a 6th sense, and some of it must have been rubbing off on me when I wasn't paying attention.   
The mission was easy. He was supposed to shoot down a few buildings and then get out. But he had changed the plans himself, and hadn't lived through them.

I never told anyone but Quatre had been a large influence on me.. if you've never met him he's like one of those little puppies that you can't turn away because they can give one-way tickets to guilt trips. During our time in the Cinq Kingdom he became my confidante, and he still is. He's never realized it, but Quatre's the first person I ever called a partner outright. He was always completely honest with me, and vice versa. Maybe that's why I hate Trowa so much now, because of the pain he put him in. They had something deep although neither ever talked about it.   
After Trowa had died, Quatre had suddenly gone into some type of shock, he'd simply stare out the window with a ghostly expression, the brightness in his eyes gone. Afterwards he'd work overtime, but would always come back and look at me with those strange eyes.

Duo was a lot stronger through the entire time, although I could tell that he'd been shaken inside as well. He didn't know Trowa well, in fact I think he still holds a grudge against him, but who knows with Duo. I hide it, but I worry about him sometimes.. the way he fights in his Gundam is downright brutal, he turns into a true Shingami during a battle. Out of all of us, he's the most dangerous and worst to cross, but that dangerous person is hidden behind the facade of a comedian. He tries to keep everything lighthearted when the world around him is falling down.   
After Trowa had died, he had become quiet and dark, finally taking off the joker's mask he had on for so long. Instead of crying, he went and took out the entire base and everything in it, only to come back with a smile. Even I worry sometimes about him, and deep inside I hope the mask stays off forever and Duo begins to heal.

As for me, well I just got angry. During the little bit of time I'd known Trowa Barton I had regarded him as a fellow soldier and we both respected each other. After the war was over, I expected him to begin to turn into a real person. He and I were a lot more alike than people realized, except he didn't have an insane woman chasing after him all the time.   
I'm not saying that I have anything against Relena Dorlian, because I don't. After Trowa died, she constantly came by to deliver some lunch or take me out for some coffee or something to get my mind off it. I think she's finally beginning to understand that I'm not ready for a relationship, but we've supported each other through a lot lately.   
Great. I'm getting emotional again. Lately my title as 'The Perfect Soldier' has been in danger. It doesn't help that today I'm standing in the middle of a graveyard underneath a tree.   
2 years ago, I wouldn't have been there, but now I was simply standing with a grim look on my face.

Quatre was staring silently at the ground, speaking gentle Arabic in a sing song tone. He hardly ever sings but he has a nice voice.. both he and Duo have good vocals.   
"Heero?"   
"Hm?"   
"Just wondering if you're still here.." Quatre stared blankly at the tombstone. "It's peaceful here.."   
"Yeah."   
"It's funny.." Quatre managed a weakened smile but I could see a slight tear on his face. "It's almost like Trowa never left us. Like I can hear him now."   
The baka had left with no warnings or last words. I don't think I could ever forgive him.. "Then what does he say?"   
"He says, 'I'm proud of you'.."

Quatre blinked and held back another tear as he slowly reached down and set two white lilies against the grey stone. He slipped back to where the car was waiting, it was odd, I couldn't hear Duo's loud music echoing through the air.   
"You know he's too kind." I muttered as I stared at the name. "I don't understand why you did this, but..I hope you're at peace."   
The wind rustled slightly and I heard a bird chirp in the tree. Turning away, I walked back to the car and saw Duo waiting restlessly while Quatre was simply staring. I stepped inside the backseat and forced myself to return to my calm demeanor.   
"Where to sirs?" Duo joked. "Something to eat?"   
"Yeah." I replied. "That would be good."

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****End 


End file.
